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No matter what field you work in, you’re likely to encounter this: Your company has an upper-level position available, and they’re open to hiring internal candidates. You’re qualified, and you know you could do a great job, but even though you polish up your CV and do your best at the interview, you don’t get the promotion.
Getting rejected for a promotion can really sting: No one likes being told they’re not the best choice! But sometimes, the reasons for the rejection can be confusing.
If you were told you “aren’t ready” for a promotion, it’s easy to get frustrated with how vague that feedback is. When you hear something like that, however, know that there’s nothing wrong with your qualifications—your work relationships might be the issue!
It’s true that the office is a place to work, not socialize, but that doesn’t mean relationship building isn’t important. Human beings are social animals, so of course our brains are hardwired to consider social bonds when deciding who to promote. If you want to get the next promotion, the key is to work on building the right work relationships!
So, what’s the best way to do this?
There are five ways that you can build the right work relationships to get promoted. We’re going to talk about them here and show you why neuroscience says they work. We’ll also look into the importance of building up your self-confidence so you can really show your bosses and coworkers what you have to offer!
Can changing your brain really change your income? It can! Find out how from the experts at this weekend’s live Brain-A-Thon event! Don’t wait—book your spot TODAY!
You’re special. Yes, you! For those of us who grew up surrounded by “everyone is special and unique” rhetoric, it’s easy to roll our eyes at this. But even though it’s a cliche, it’s true: You have something that makes you stand out among your coworkers!
This special something can be a skill, a personality trait, a certification, a talent—virtually anything. Regardless of what your special trait is, you need to find it, because it’s a vital tool for building up your work relationships!
Unsurprisingly, human brains are more likely to remember that which stands out! Being unique can get your resume on top of the pile when your boss is deciding who to promote.
What’s more, knowing your talents can help you become more confident. People are naturally more inclined to trust and respect confident people and to consider their arguments more seriously!
Zero in on what makes you unique. Are you especially good at pulling people with different skills together in a team? Can you think strategically about complex situations without breaking a sweat? Think about what you’re known for. Is there something your coworkers often ask for help with?
Once you find 1–3 things that make you stand out, use them! Take whatever opportunities you can to stand out among your bosses and coworkers and show off your unique skills and talents!
If your boss is saying they “just don’t think you’re ready” for a promotion, it’s easy to get frustrated. Why can’t they see how qualified you are? In order to figure out what you’re missing, it’s important to see things from their perspective.
Science shows us that people with different viewpoints can have a completely different interpretation of the same information. Getting feedback from bosses, clients, and coworkers can help you work out just what you need to change in order to get your dream promotion.
Do you have a blind spot when it comes to checking over your work? Is there some behavior you aren’t aware of that’s getting in the way of your work relationships? Is your leadership strategy alienating your coworkers?
Be sure to listen to feedback without getting defensive, and take it on board before your next interview. If you make a change, your boss and coworkers are sure to notice, and this can help boost your application above the competition.
What’s the easiest way to learn a skill, or make something a habit? Practice, of course!
If you want to work in a leadership position, you need to demonstrate leadership skills. But for people with poor self-confidence, this is easier said than done. Since our thoughts and beliefs are guided by the neural networks we reinforce in our brains, practicing leadership can be a momentous task for people who are used to letting others take charge.
So, how can you practice leadership in order to reinforce the right pathways in your brain? You can’t just go up to your manager and ask to switch jobs for a day! What you can do is act as a leader by mentoring others.
Is your special trait from the first item on this list a skill you can teach to others? Do you know of a younger person looking to get into your field?
If you can find someone who wants to benefit from your knowledge, make a commitment to meeting with them and mentoring them as they learn and grow. You’ll be able to practice leadership, and they’ll grow in their skill. Plus, watching someone you taught succeed is a great confidence-booster!
Maybe there’s someone in your office you find brash and annoying, or someone who you consider a rival–and not the friendly kind, either! If so, you might not like our next piece of advice: These are people you should make an effort to work with!
Everyone has experienced a personality clash with a coworker or found a manager’s leadership style irritating. But if you’re trying to demonstrate to your boss that you have what it takes to lead, you can’t shy away from personalities you find challenging! Having ongoing friction with coworkers makes it harder for management to promote you. Why would they want to cause more conflict?
Instead, demonstrate conflict resolution skills by making an effort to work with coworkers who get on your nerves. If you know what it is that causes you to dislike a coworker, look into strategies for working with people with that quality, and put them to use the next time you team up!
When it comes to building the work relationships you need in order to snag yourself that promotion, you need your colleagues to not only like you, but to respect you! Showing you respect yourself is key to earning the respect of others.
If you want to build strong work relationships, it’s easy to fall into the trap of never saying no to a request. But this won’t make you stand out as a strong leader and teammate—it’ll only prompt those around you to ask more and more of you. Therefore, to build your work relationships and get promoted, knowing when to say yes and when to say no matters.
Decide in advance what your boundaries will be and enforce them politely but firmly. Say yes to extra tasks that improve your ability to network, help build your skills, or demonstrate your talents, but if you have plans later and a coworker asks you to cover for them, don’t feel pressured unless you really want to do it!
What’s more, the latest in psychology says that setting boundaries can help relationships. Specifically, boundaries help both individuals navigate interactions, and prevents burnout and feelings of resentment.
If you want to build the right work relationships for a promotion, you need to build up your own self-esteem and confidence first! Neuroscience shows that displaying confidence improves how people around you perceive you, making it much easier to get the promotion you’ve been eyeing!
So how can a highly qualified candidate (that’s you) boost their confidence enough to come out on top? If you’re dealing with low confidence, negative self-talk might be the culprit. People with low self-esteem often tell themselves an internal story that includes comments like:
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Millions of highly skilled people deal with low confidence, low self-esteem, and negative self-talk—but what can be done about it?
This is where Innercise™ comes in! Developed by John Assaraf and a team of top neuroscientists, Innercise™ is a way of working out your brain just like you’d work out a muscle! In this final section of our article, we’re going to teach you an Innercise™ to help you squash negative self-talk wherever it appears.
This Innercise™ is called Kill the ANTs. John Assaraf uses the acronym ANTs to describe automatic negative thoughts—the exact kind of negative self-talk we’re trying to nip in the bud!
The goal is to build confidence by replacing negative beliefs, or ANTs, with positive beliefs—also known as APTs (automatic positive thoughts)!
Want to learn even more ways that training your brain could help you boost your career? Then this free virtual Brain-A-Thon training session is for you—register TODAY!
This Innercise™ is paraphrased from John Assaraf’s bestselling guide Innercise: The New Science to Unlock Your Hidden Brain Power. You can perform it as often as you feel you need, but remember: Innercise™ trains your brain like a muscle, so the more regularly you practice, the better it’ll work!
To get started, the first step is to identify your automatic negative thoughts—in other words, your ANTs! Pay attention to your thoughts as you go through your day, and when you notice a thought that makes you feel discouraged or down on yourself, write it down on a notepad.
Next, question those ANTs from an outsider’s perspective. Think about them critically. Are they true? Are they helpful?
If you can see a way to argue with your negative thoughts, now is the time to do so! In bullet points, a chart, or however you prefer, link the negative thoughts on the page with the evidence against them.
Replace the ANTs with new, helpful automatic positive thoughts (APTs)! As you look through your list of ANTs, repeat positive affirmations to disprove them. ANTs are habits, which means they’re connected to a trigger in the environment. The goal is to “flip the switch.”
In other words, you want to train your brain to respond to the same trigger with a positive thought instead of a negative thought!
Follow this exercise for 5–7 days and see if your confidence and self-esteem improve. You might just find that you’re walking a little taller once you’ve mentally replaced “I can’t do this” with “I know I can do this!”
In summary, the most important thing to remember when you’re trying to get a promotion is not to stress too much. After all, people who appear calm and sure of themselves come off better than people who don’t! Building your self-confidence will help you build stronger relationships with your bosses and colleagues and make it easier to climb the ladder towards your dream position.
Want even more advice for advancing through the ranks of your workplace or your field? Read NeuroGym’s article on the right strategies for asking for a raise—all of them backed up by neuroscience!
Last of all, if you want to learn how to use YOUR hidden brainpower to advance in your career, join us at this weekend’s live Brain-A-Thon event! Book NOW!
