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The Secret to Self-Confidence: Advice From John Assaraf

Author:NeuroGym Team

Have you ever tried to build self-esteem? It can be challenging, especially if you aren’t sure about how to do it.

John Assaraf has worked for decades on improving people’s self-esteem, and now, he is going to share his strategies with you.

But what exactly is self-esteem?

It’s all about self-assurance and having trust in your own abilities and thoughts. It’s about knowing you are worth more and being positive about yourself.

Much like becoming an expert in anything you do, proper self-esteem requires practice and time to develop.

Get Outside Your Mind

When you have low self-esteem, you don’t always trust your judgment and don’t believe in your own abilities. It can leave you feeling cynical and negative.

You become so caught up in your negative emotions and poor self-image that you forget all your successful qualities; you forget about the bigger picture.

Stop for a minute and think about how other people see you. Consider your life, abilities, and worth from their perspective. You’ll soon realize that you are an amazing person with loads of potential.

It’s necessary to get outside your thoughts occasionally so that you can remind yourself about how great you are. This kind of self-love can boost your confidence already and do wonders for your self-esteem.

Observe Your Thoughts

Your thoughts are an integral part of you; they aren’t going to go away, but you don’t have to give into them. When you feel sad or upset, sit alone for a couple of moments, and do some introspection.

Make Time for Self-Work

There is a difference between you and your thoughts. The latter are only ideas that pop into your mind, but they don’t define you. The power to change your thoughts lies within you.

As you sit quietly—you could even close your eyes—take six deep breaths. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth as if blowing through a straw.

Allow your thoughts to wander. As a thought comes up, identify it, acknowledge it, and then let it go. Think of it as a balloon that floats away into the air.

Do all of this without any judgment. Don’t dwell on the thoughts or beat yourself up about what you are thinking. A thought only lasts a couple of moments, so let it go.

Embrace Failure

Your self-worth might take a knock if you fail at something. It doesn’t help if you constantly think about your failures or beat yourself up about them.

Failure happens. Admit it when you made a mistake or didn’t get something right. Negative thoughts are bound to surface, so use the previous strategy to let go of them.

Accept your failures and think about how you could correct the situation. Figure out what you can learn from the events and focus on that information rather than on negative ideas.

Self-Esteem Starts in Your Brain

Your brain is responsible for your thoughts and self-esteem. It’s possible to change your thinking so that you can have better self-worth which gives you the ability to do more.

John Assaraf and several brain experts will explore these ideas at the Brain-A-Thon. Reserve your spot for this life-changing event.

Reframe Your Thoughts

Self-work doesn’t stop with acknowledging your thoughts. You have to continue putting in time and effort so that you can do better and focus on constructive thoughts. The main way to do this is by reframing your thoughts.

Find the Positive

Sometimes, negative thoughts or emotions about a specific event can be overwhelming. The first step, in this case, is to observe your thoughts. The next step is to find a positive so that you can overcome the negative thoughts.

Search your thoughts and memories about the situation. Think about it carefully and place your ideas in different scenarios. Continue to reframe your thoughts and see the situation from various perspectives. Do this until you find something positive in your behavior.

Search for Inspiration

Identifying positive behaviors and events can be tough, but you need to do it so that you can change your thinking. It might be easier if you seek inspiration within yourself and elsewhere.

Alter the message of your current thoughts. Change around the word or find antonyms for negative words to see how the message could look in a different light.

Do an online search to understand how other people overcame similar issues. Find stories of success that explain how someone built their self-confidence and self-worth.

Walk around outside, spend time in nature, or play with your pets. All of these activities can give you a rush of feel-good hormones that allow you to see things differently.

Build Self-Esteem Consciously

Your background, upbringing, and history could be full of activities or memories that break down your self-esteem. Starting today, commit to being a more confident version of yourself despite how you began.

Improve your ideas and beliefs about yourself continuously and through a conscious effort. Here are some strategies to help you do this.

Break and Build Habits

A bad habit can tear down your self-esteem rapidly. Good habits can build it up again. It’s time to break our unhealthy habits and become the person we deeply desire to be.

You can only do this through healthy, constructive habits. In the video below, John Assaraf explains how you can do it more easily.

Do Something New

Nothing boosts your confidence as much as succeeding at something you haven’t done before. It’s a good time to try a new hobby, learn a skill, or take a course.

When you do something new, you stimulate your brain. You actively think and establish new neural connections.

Succeeding at your new skill also releases feel-good hormones. It improves your self-esteem and gives you a better sense of self-worth.

Lend a Helping Hand

Doing good for others can enhance your mood and allow you to feel you are important in life. It’s not about getting outside validation; it’s about knowing you are making a difference and impacting someone else.

Schedule time once a week or once a month to help others. You could read to children or the elderly, go shopping for someone, volunteer at an animal shelter, or even take some baked goods to a loved one.

Stop Stressing

Stress isn’t good for your physical, mental, or emotional health. It affects your sleep, reasoning, and thoughts about yourself.

The effects of stress will cause a dent in your self-esteem because you become critical of every action you take. Find ways to relax and relieve your stress. Eat healthy, go for a walk, and get sufficient sleep.

Improve Your Self-Confidence Through Knowledge

Join us for the Brain-A-Thon and get to know your brain much better. Learn why it isn’t working properly and how to tap into its hidden potential. It will help you to overcome the things holding you back in life.

Practice Self-Love

Loving yourself is one of the most important things you need to do to become the person you want to be. It’s about more than saying, “I love myself;” it’s about being specific and taking control of our future.

Establish Your Values

Spend time thinking about what is really important in your life. Think about the things you can’t live without or the aspects of your life that are truly meaningful. Compile these into a list of values.

Once you understand your values, you can use them to determine whether your life is going according to plan or whether you need to reconsider your actions. Values give you a purpose that builds confidence.

Visualize Your Future

You know what you want from the future, but it doesn’t help one bit if you don’t believe you can get to this stage. Your brain needs to learn about this picture continuously so that it starts to chase it with all its might.

Close your eyes and imagine what good self-esteem and success would look like to you. Concentrate on all the small details, then capture them in a vision board which you can use for daily visualization.

Seek Help

There could be a time that your self-esteem is exceptionally low, and you struggle with getting back on your feet. It’s okay if this happens.

In all likelihood, this is the time where you need to reach out for help. Contact a therapist, mentor, or coach to help you work through your emotions. They can also provide you with strategies that will improve your self-esteem systematically.

Use Positive Affirmations

The more you tell yourself positive things, the more you will believe it because your brain will create neural pathways for these messages. You are literally training your brain to think differently.

Write down several positive things about yourself. Put the notes somewhere you can see them, and read them aloud daily.

Focus on your good qualities, times when you were successful, and the things you like best about yourself.

Achieve Your Dream Life

The life you want doesn’t have to be a figment of your imagination. You can make it a reality by leveraging your brain to achieve your goals faster and easier than before. It’s definitely a boost to your confidence and self-esteem.

Sign up for the free virtual Brain-A-Thon today and take the first steps toward your new life.

About The Author

NeuroGym Team

NeuroGym Team: NeuroGym’s Team of experts consists of neuroscientists, researchers, and staff who are enthusiasts in their fields. The team is committed to making a difference in the lives of others by sharing the latest scientific findings to help you change your life by understanding and using the mindset, skill set and action set to change your brain.

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